I wanted to use a blog title that was simple and would pop up on a normal GOOGLE search, but “Breast Cancer Husband” was already taken (http://www.breastcancerhusband.com/). So was “Stand By Her” (http://standbyher.org/). I went to those sites, but one has been corrupted by endless spam and the other has been inactive for nearly a year. Another I tried seems full of advertising and another still was a long advertisement for an exercise program developed by a breast cancer husbands’ wife.
So here I am, because I need someone to talk to RIGHT NOW and I want to talk to other husbands, fiancés, and lovers of women with breast cancer.
Our journey is only two weeks old. While my wife Liz knew something was seriously wrong inside of her body, I was clueless. Until two weeks ago, a biopsy at the
A week later, Liz had a bilateral mastectomy.
I’m writing this six days after the surgery.
I’ve searched the internet and I haven’t been able to find an active husband-whose-wife-has-breast-cancer blog that I could chat on. Maybe it’s because their wives have been survivors for years and they can relax, or they can take a step back, or they’re exhausted, or the danger is no longer clear and present.
Not so for me. Based on everything I’ve read so far, this job is only just beginning.
Ah, the name of the blog: I couldn’t call it Breast Cancer Husband, so I went to the thesaurus to look for synonyms and the etymological dictionary for word roots. It all comes down to a “husband” having something to do with farming. Words like cultivate, garden, graze, grow, harvest, landscape, seed, sow, tend and till the soil are all related to “husband”. The word “reap” was in there, too.
At first that didn’t do anything for me, but when I came across “reap”, of course the first thing I thought of was the Grim Reaper. Then my mind went to work, the Reaper’s robe turned pink and I had the image in my head of the Breast Cancer Reaper: cutting down breast cancer, growing hope, harvesting love, creating a new landscape (in more ways that one!), cultivating peace, sowing joy, tending the field, the Garden of Eden, good and healthy eating…
At any rate, this will be a personal blog with medical LINKS and occasional medical comments (or curses?) – I’m no doctor, though I have been a science teacher for three decades. This blog may wax and wane humorous as well. Humor is how I deal with grief and tragedy (actually, humor is how I deal with just about everything and every one…)
We’ll see. All I know right now is that my wife has breast cancer, she, my daughter (whose blog links are below), my son & daughter-in-law & grandson and the rest of both of our families and friends, are dealing with this in different ways.
I should be here once a week, probably Saturdays, and my goal will be to provide something that’s short, personal and helpful.
That is all…
You know, the thing I've always enjoyed most about your writing is the candor and kinship to real life that shines through it. Breast Cancer Reaper is life as real as real life gets, and you, Liz and your family have a reserved spot at the top of my prayer list until you tell me otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI loved how you went about naming BCR (if I may deign to abbreviate for the moment), especially since it signifies hope, not darkness. Well done; I'll keep up with it as often as you decide to post.
Love ya, my friend!
Thanks, Aaron! I'm planning on posting every Saturday in BCR -- and I will WELCOME your comments on anything I write here or in PIE! Also, thank you for your prayers -- they are appreciated more than you can imagine...
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