From the first moment my wife discovered
she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even
ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have
received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than
mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started
this blog…That was four years ago – as time passed, people searching for
answers stumbled across my blog and checked out what I had to say. The
following entry appeared in August, 2012.
Next Thursday,
I’ll be going with my wife to the One Year Appointment. At the end of August,
2011, her chemo was done. Since then, it’s been a regimen of daily pills, bouts
of lymphedema and struggles with balancing medications (cholesterol, synthroid,
pseudephedrine, and so on).
HOWEVER, it’s
also been a year filled with all kinds of joy: haircuts, camping and travelling
(which stopped last summer), party times with friends without exhaustion
setting in, play time with the grandkids and walks in the park, 25th
Wedding Anniversary date to a dinner theater, parting with our daughter, three
times to fireworks, and plans for our foster daughter to go to New Zealand. A
rich life, to be sure.
NOT that life before
cancer wasn’t rich before, but now there’s a new appreciation of life. I don’t
take traveling for granted any more. I certainly don’t take CAMPING for granted
anymore: the roughness of the terrain, distance to the bathrooms and the bugs
and darkness are tough enough for an able-bodied old man like me. They would
have been very, very difficult for someone in the throes of chemotherapy! The
fact that we could celebrate 25 years together after a hellish year following
the initial diagnosis is spectacular!
The worry is
much less as well – last summer, every time I went to work, I worried. It made
for a pretty bleak time in some ways. I tried to keep my Scandinavian stoicism
well-oiled and practiced, but I’m sure the anger, fear and bitterness leaked
through (ask my students to see if I managed).
Not this summer!
We’re even planning on going to the Great Minnesota Get-Together (for those of
you reading this who are not from Minnesota, it’s also known as the Minnesota
State Fair) after the One Year appointment to walk about and eat ourselves
silly – and probably watch the fireworks show just before we go home (making it
four fireworks displays we’ll have seen!)
Life is sweet –
but let me add a caveat: life is NOT “the same” as it was before the breast
cancer diagnosis of March 2011. Every moment, every event, every laugh, every
fireworks explosion is a cause for celebration. Every hug from our grandkids,
every tear-inducing laugh during cards, every walk to the park to throw the
dog’s rope, every plan we make for the new cabinets and every trip to Target is
cause for sighing in wonder at the things that make for life.
I am a blessed
man; even with that, I extend my deepest sympathies to those who have lost
their mate, their love, their mother, sister, colleague or partner to this
scourge. We WILL defeat it. Next August I WILL ride in the 2013 Breast
Cancer Ride [I didn’t do this…sorry…]
and I will find am still looking for a T-shirt that has Godzilla
stomping out breast cancer!
Close
enough for government work! Next, the T-shirt!
