The blog address came from an earlier title I tried for this blog. Didn’t work. The new title is a better reflection of me – and if you’re here, I hope it’s a reflection of you…http://breastcancerreaper.blogspot.com/search/label/Introductions As to the lateness of the post? Yesterday we celebrated the marriage of my son and daughter-in-law at a reception that had been delayed for a year. So the wedding was Labor Day last year, the reception yesterday. Busy, busy, busy...
One of the things I’ve noticed in this ordeal is that huge expectations have been laid on caregivers.
We are to support our women. The doctors, nurses, families and well, everyone, expects it.
Of COURSE I do that with all my strength, heart and spirit! I love my wife! I am pulling for her, cheering for her, weeping with her, listening to her. I am as there as I can be.
Others cast their support as well from intimate family and friends to people she hasn’t heard from in years, all the way to ones with whom she parted ways less-than-happily. People who follow and comment on her Caringbridge blog (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lizstewart1) are legion.
My question then – and still is – where’s my support?
Of course people support me! Right? OK, to be honest, I was sorta expecting a bit more. Maybe a couple of pats on the back, a chuck under the chin and few words of, “Wow, must be tough for ya, eh?”
That was my expectation. The reality is more like an avoidance reaction. For example, one of the men at school has a wife who is going through breast cancer. They have younger children, so a greater burden has fallen on him than on me with one kid out of the house living his own life and then other starting her third year of college.
But I sorta expected a bit more camaraderie when he told me about it through his email response to my announcement. Instead, we avoid each other and never say a word about breast cancer. Some of the women at school ask about my wife. Lots of them. Many of them. Our church supports her and people ask about her all the time.
But the people I get to thank for their support?
Crickets chirping in the auditorium as I speak into the microphone, “Thank you for your support.”
Image: http://www.outlandishjosh.com/files/Bartles%20and%20James%20Parrot.jpg
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