BREAST CANCER WISDOM 1: From Others and From Life Here…

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…

There’s a lot of wisdom out there about breast cancer and from breast cancer victims. I’m not talking about doctoral wisdom – I’ve got a space for that in this blog – I’m talking here about things people tell people when they find out that they MIGHT have breast cancer; things they tell people when they get the FIRST confirmation; things they tell people just before radiation, chemo, lumpectomies, or radical mastectomies; things they tell people about nutrition, exercise, lymphedema – a hundred other subjects.

Then there’s the plain wisdom, words that come down about living with breast cancer every day.

I’ve decided to post regular, plain wisdom – be it from the web or from my wife’s or my personal experience.

I’m starting with a wonderful writer who is both entertaining and profound – and she was also a breast cancer survivor. Erma Bombeck made my wife and I laugh many times. She made lots of people laugh, but never really stopped there. She said things that were deeply profound. I’ll start with her – and because I have a sensitive funny bone – and I’ll probably side with humor more often than not.

“I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

“I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

“I would have talked less and listened more.

“I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

“I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

“I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

“I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

“I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

“I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

“I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

“I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

“Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

“When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you' More 'I'm sorry's.'

“But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it, and really see it . . live it and never give it back.”

(PS – I am a “fact geek” (Duh, right?) and I wanted to find out exactly where this came from. That brought me to Snopes.com – THE place to check if something you get online seems fishy. The FACT is that while Erma Bombeck did write the above, it WASN’T because she’d just discovered she had breast cancer. Go to Snopes.com for the full explanation here: http://www.snopes.com/glurge/bombeck.asp ) Great stuff – no matter what.

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