From the first moment my wife discovered
she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even
ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have
received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than
mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started
this blog…
This is post 217…I
started it four years ago.
I suppose I’ve
avoided it because it’s tough to talk about and it would probably drive some
men away, sending them running for the hills.
Twenty-first Century American White Midwest Culture does not hold male spiritual journeys in
high esteem. In fact, it does everything it can to ridicule, downplay and crush
any sort of discussion of anything that doesn’t have to do with football, Fords,
and fight club; or investments, Lexus’, and finance.
But not emotion except
rage, anger, cursing, shouting, rage, anger, and (patting on heads in)
condescension.
Spirituality is
to be avoided at all costs, in particular Christianity and whiteness which has
somehow gotten tangled into some sort of White Supremacist Oppressionism – as Black
Christianity is OK and untouchable.
There certainly
wasn’t much help for me personally when my wife was diagnosed with breast
cancer. The Church was even more silent than the rest of the male community –
most likely because breast cancer deals with “breasts” and “cancer”; neither of
which the Church as a whole deals with. At all. Perhaps because breasts are
forbidden because of their link with __ e __ and “cancer’s” appearance of
uncleanness – sort of like leprosy. So no one in the Church talks about breast
cancer. Except to pray for healing.
Men don’t
mention it and usually pretend no such thing exists.
Do I sound
bitter?
It’s because I
am. Incredibly so.
When you look at
Relay For Life teams, there are military bases, squads, corporate sponsors, schools,
individuals, and small businesses. I have yet to see anything like a “Church of
Saint Immaculate Open Heart Episcopalian Non-denominational Hope” sponsor a
team. None. At all.
No support from
men in general; less-than no support from men in the Church.
As far as a
crisis of faith goes, the past four years have been one ongoing crisis of faith
for me.
I don’t have any
words of wisdom here for anyone else in a crisis of faith as mine is ongoing.
If anyone else
has come through this with any sort of Christian faith, I’d like to hear from you.
Resources: There
aren’t any. Just stuff about “miraculous healing from bc”
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