Dad’s diagnosis of Alzheimer’s stayed
hidden from everyone until I took over the medical administration of my
parents. Once I found out, there was a deafening silence from the most of the
people I know even though virtually all of them would add, “My _____ had
Alzheimer’s…” But there was little help, little beyond people sadly shaking
heads. Or horror stories. Lots of those! Even the ones who knew about the
disease seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Alzheimer’s
Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut
up for any known reason, I started this blog…
I had no idea.
That’s still my
thought…
“I had no idea
this could happen to my dad.”
“I had no idea it
would be like this.”
“I had no idea
what to say.”
“I had no idea
what to do.”
“I still have no
idea how to deal with this…”
As we age, I think
we discover that there are fewer and fewer things we can do anything about. I
suppose, as we age, we discover that we are more and more helpless. More and
more dependent on others.
The most famous
Alzheimer’s patient in the world is the one no one talks about. The one who
disappeared from history after MAKING history…
The Former
President of the United States, Ronald Regan, who after his diagnosis,
disappeared and was never heard from again…
If someone as
powerful and famous as Ronald Regan – actor, governor, president – can
disappear from history, what hope is there for my father?
There is no cure
for Alzheimer’s – look at the list of famous, incredibly wealthy individuals
who were able to do absolutely NOTHING with their money and influence to stave
off the horrific destruction the disease leaves in its wake: most recently,
Gene Wilder; Glenn Campbell; Charlton Heston; Norman Rockwell; Rita Hayworth;
Sugar Ray Robinson; Jimmy Stewart; James Doohan (SCOTTY FROM STAR TREK!!!!!); Malcolm
Young; Robin Williams; Casey Kassem; Rosa Parks; and EB White.
What possible hope
does my dad have?
But there is hope,
and over the next few months – maybe years – I’ll be doing with Alzheimer’s
what I did with my journey into my wife’s breast cancer diagnosis. I’m going to
be deconstructing it to understand it.
And I have always
believed that to understand something is to begin a long road to accepting it;
to naming it. Madeleine L’Engle once said, “Stories are able to help us to
become more whole, to become Named. And Naming is one of the impulses behind
all art; to give a name to the cosmos, we see despite all the chaos.”
I will leave you
with this image to ponder for next time:
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