The older I get, the more suffering and
pain I’ve experienced; and the more of both I stand witness to. From my wife’s
(and many, many of our friends and coworkers) battle against breast cancer; to
my dad’s (and the parents of many of our friends and coworkers) process as he
fades away as this complex disease breaks the connections between more and more
memories, I have become not only frustrated with suffering, pain, and having to
watch both, I have been witness to the suffering and pain among the students I
serve as a school counselor. I have become angry and sometimes paralyzed. This
is my attempt to lift myself from the occasional stifling grief that darkens my
days…
Except for Bible passages
(which, in my mind, have proven staying power as they’re several thousand years
old), I’ve found that I’m not a huge fan of “inspirational quotes”.
When I started
researching for this post and typed in “breast cancer inspiration”, the first
thing that came up was “20 Inspirational Quotes…” the second was “104 best…”
Don’t get me
wrong, I’m not making a judgement here. Inspirational quotes are good for some
people. I’m speaking for myself when I say I don’t think inspiration can have a
lasting effect on a person struggling with the repercussions of breast cancer.
Consider the
following inspirational quote/poster:
While in no way
trying to minimize Eleanor Roosevelt’s pain, “aplastic anemia…given steroids…[which]
activated a dormant case of tuberculosis in her bone marrow, and she died of
resulting cardiac failure…” is not breast cancer. I am certain she suffered
enough to apply the quote.
But. She did not suffer a radical double mastectomy, chemotherapy, and reconstructive surgery.
Someone thought the quote inspiring because of her gender – and of COURSE it’s
inspiring! I just don’t believe it
carries the weight it would if it was placed in a larger context of a breast
cancer story.
Another exception
I grant is when the quote comes from a longer work. If you don’t know, the
British Christian apologist, CS Lewis married a woman late in life who died
from metastatic carcinoma involving the bones in 1960. Lewis kept copious
journals and a year after her death, published them under the pseudonym N.W.
Clerk. A GRIEF OBSERVED details his devastating grief after her death and his
subsequent struggles with his faith. In this case, the quote is rooted in
a much, much longer work and personal
struggle. I will grant that as a legitimate quote. Cries of “hypocrite!”
notwithstanding, as we deal with breast cancer, as victims, survivors,
caretakers, or simple bystanders – in different ways. “Trite” sayings to
“encourage” are, I think a dodge for people who don’t know what else to say and
so opt to say and send things that, while they come from a good heart, don’t
mean much to the person suffering from breast cancer.
I write another
blog called POSSIBLY IRRITATING ESSAYS…I’d have to say that this is one of
those rather than the regular GUY’S GOTTA TALK ABOUT…
No comments:
Post a Comment