ENCORE #136! – Husbanding a Bigger Middle

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer in March of 2011, there was a deafening silence from the men I knew. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…That was four years ago – as time passed, people searching for answers stumbled across my blog and checked out what I had to say. The following entry first appeared in May of 2011…

With my focus on Liz’ cancer, I’ve not paid much attention to what I’m eating. Well, not exactly. My problem is that I pay too MUCH attention to what I eat and what I don’t do.

See, I’m not an exercise nut. I’m exercise-a-phobic. It’s strange, but my GOOGLE search turns up a name for being afraid of everything EXCEPT fear of exercise. Smartalecks chime in on CHACHA and YahooAnswer to quip that the fear of exercise is laziness. But I’m not so sure – this person isn’t, either: http://exercise.about.com/od/plateausmotivation/a/overcomingfear.htm so I’m going to name it: exercerophobia: fear of exercise; from the Latin from L. exercitium "training, exercise," from exercitare, frequentative of exercere "keep busy, drive on," lit. "remove restraint," from ex- "off" (see ex-) +arcere "keep away, prevent, enclose,"

While that may not seem significant to you, naming something allows me to deal with it. When the breast cancer Liz had received a name: infiltrative ductal carcinoma, I was able to GOOGLE it and read about it. While I don’t consider myself an expert, some of my terror was allayed and I was able to read about treatment, steps to take and what it was.

Madeleine L’Engle, one of my favorite writers both as a kid and as an adult, has this to say about “naming”:

"I Name you Echthroi.

I Name you Meg.
I Name you Calvin.
I Name you Mr. Jenkins.
I Name you Proginoskes.
I fill you with Naming.
Be!
Be, butterfly and behemoth,
be galaxy and grasshopper,
star and sparrow,
you matter,
you are,
be!
Be caterpillar and comet,
Be porcupine and planet,
sea sand and solar system,
sing with us,
dance with us,
rejoice with us,
for the glory of creation,
seagulls and seraphim
angle worms and angel host,
chrysanthemum and cherubim.
(O cherubim.)
Be!
Sing for the glory
of the living and the loving
the flaming of creation
sing with us
dance with us
be with us.
Be!"

- Madeleine L'Engle, A Wind in the Door

Knowing what something IS helps me to face it. To know it, it needs to have a name. Once it has a name, then I can call it out. Breast cancer has a name I can understand and while we haven’t experienced complete victory yet, the enemy we confront has a name and we can do battle.

I’ve been fighting exercerophobia for years without knowing what its name was. Now that it’s REALLY important that I remain healthy, I’ve found its name – and can engage in battle.

Image: https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5527/10893068965_1d328e8f71_b.jpg