I know, the title seems to invite death – but it’s the opposite. To read where this title came from, click here: http://breastcancerreaper.blogspot.com/search/label/Introductions
Chemo two was [eleven days ago; this was written on the day we came back from chemo.]
It started out well, we had a nice breakfast and except for a few butterflies in her stomach, Liz was in good spirits. We drove to the hospital on what would turn out to be the hottest day of the new century and one of the hottest days in the past 100 years.
But the air conditioning in a hospital covers a multitude of evils and we had no idea the temperatures were soaring.
We decided we were going to watch SERENDIPITY, a movie I’d wanted to see for some time. We got into a private room and started the movie. We KNEW we weren’t supposed to have Benadryl again because of Liz’s idiosyncratic reaction – it causes “restless leg syndrome” and is extremely uncomfortable.
After the first hour, Liz started to get anxious. The movie was intense and a nurse came in to ask if we would mind switching out of the private room for a transfusion patient who needed to lie down. We of course said fine and moved to the public infusion area – right in the middle of everything…
Being there seemed to sap the energy Liz had started with. While others chatted around us, Liz grew quiet. We watched what was going on, people came to talk to us; Mary (the Infusion Center nurse) came to fire The Red Devil into the port garbed in gown, with glasses, gloves and mask. I spent most of the quiet time reading. Then Liz's back began to act up and we changed places; me taking the "recliner" and her the straight-backed chair.
She was hardly speaking now, responding to Mary with a grim smile. When the infusion concluded, she was ready to go, feeling weak and unsteady.
The look in her eyes was bleak knowing that this was only number two of six. That was when she declared that she wasn't going to do this ever again. We reached home and she laid down to sleep, once again, with a bleak look and tears, she said again that she was NOT going to do that again.
Bleak house, indeed.
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