Breast Cancer Is Like Weather...

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…

I’d started this out with the observation that my wife’s experience with breast cancer has been one of constant adjustment:

…adjusting to life without breasts – and STILL getting reminders from the doctor’s office to come in for her annual breast checkup...I’m NOT kidding, she finally had to call the clinic to ASK them to take her off the “reminder” list.

…changing medication, feeling better…and then feeling WORSE.

…asking for an “adult-sized” chair in the classroom of kindergartners she works with because it’s hard to sit in the kid-sized chairs when you have muscle aches and pains.

…constantly trying to find ways to make life less painful and more routine – for example, finding out from online research that taking capsules of capsaicin (the stuff they put in pepper spray to make it so effective) can relieve muscle and joint pain. No DOCTOR told her about it. Maybe they think it a “home remedy”? Harrumph!

…knowing when to rest and when to push on.

…adjusting LIFE around drug regimens, the ebb and flow of cancer-related pain, increased lymphedema due to getting bit by a kindergartner.

…deciding whether to wear boobs or not.

…deciding what it is that is powerful enough to make you go out in public when it’s a bloody production to get ready.

Yet, even though all of this “cancer stuff” happens, still we watch TV, experiment with bread-making, talk and make jokes, play with grandchildren, wonder what it would be like to take ballroom dancing lessons, cook new foods and cook old foods new ways, and eagerly spend time with friends playing cards or going to BINGO halls with free passes.

It was then that I had the stunning insight that living with breast cancer is like living with the weather (except I can’t go to BreastCancerUnderground to get the latest prediction of what to expect today…)

As insidious as it sounds, cancer has become a part of our daily life as much as changing weather.

I am undecided at this moment about whether that’s a GOOD thing (routine is good, flexibility is good – we are currently preparing for an arctic cold snap. We haven’t had one in four or so years…); or if it’s BAD. The bad is that something so horrifying has become as unnoticeable as the weather.

Anyone have a thought?

Image: http://www.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_606w/WashingtonPost/Content/Blogs/capital-weather-gang/201301/images/arctic-front.jpg?uuid=plGgHl5_EeKQoHPINDxtYQ