BREAST CANCER WISDOM 1: From Others and From Life Here…

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…

There’s a lot of wisdom out there about breast cancer and from breast cancer victims. I’m not talking about doctoral wisdom – I’ve got a space for that in this blog – I’m talking here about things people tell people when they find out that they MIGHT have breast cancer; things they tell people when they get the FIRST confirmation; things they tell people just before radiation, chemo, lumpectomies, or radical mastectomies; things they tell people about nutrition, exercise, lymphedema – a hundred other subjects.

Then there’s the plain wisdom, words that come down about living with breast cancer every day.

I’ve decided to post regular, plain wisdom – be it from the web or from my wife’s or my personal experience.

I’m starting with a wonderful writer who is both entertaining and profound – and she was also a breast cancer survivor. Erma Bombeck made my wife and I laugh many times. She made lots of people laugh, but never really stopped there. She said things that were deeply profound. I’ll start with her – and because I have a sensitive funny bone – and I’ll probably side with humor more often than not.

“I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

“I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

“I would have talked less and listened more.

“I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

“I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

“I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

“I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

“I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

“I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

“I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

“I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

“Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

“When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you' More 'I'm sorry's.'

“But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it, and really see it . . live it and never give it back.”

(PS – I am a “fact geek” (Duh, right?) and I wanted to find out exactly where this came from. That brought me to Snopes.com – THE place to check if something you get online seems fishy. The FACT is that while Erma Bombeck did write the above, it WASN’T because she’d just discovered she had breast cancer. Go to Snopes.com for the full explanation here: http://www.snopes.com/glurge/bombeck.asp ) Great stuff – no matter what.

Image: http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/appalachian-smoky-mountain-fog-panoramic-misty-dawn-sunrise-sunset-scene-picture-decor-john-samsen.jpg

A Fantastic Cancer Voyage Chapter 1 VI

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…

One of my fondest memories as a kid is watching the movie FANTASTIC VOYAGE. In it, a group of scientists and their ultra-futuristic laser-packing “submarine” are reduced to cell size and injected into the blood vessels of a world diplomat in order to destroy a blood clot in his brain.

What would a FANTASTIC VOYAGE: Breast Cancer look like? I’m going to write a novel here, short chapter by short chapter and I’m going to include the latest research and I’m going to imagine the entire story here for your delectation. Likely it WON’T be once a month…

Kim Lin Ghandi, world-renowned philosopher and The Last Hope For World Peace studied Dr. Olubunmi Nwagbara – Ohloo to her close friends, Dr. O to those who wouldn’t try her last name for fear of offending her – a renowned breast cancer researcher and physician, working with the best hospital on the planet.

The massed military might of the Revived Super Powers of India and China threatened each other over the highest mountains on Earth from one end of their 3500 kilometer shared border to the other. Hostility between Beijing and New Delhi had risen since the fall of Communism in the West and the shift of the planetary economy to the Far East. They stood on the brink of nuclear war.

These forces had collided in the once-small city of Rochester, Minnesota at the once- local Mayo Clinic.

Kim Lin Ghandi nodded as she looked up at Olubunmi Nwagbara and said, “Da yawa masu saisaita tsininnukansu a ƙyalasr ɗaki.”

Ohloo blinked at her in startlement and said, “‘So many spears rest their points in the tiny room.’ Where did you learn that?”

“Among the Hausa women in northern Nigeria.”

“When were you there?”

“Many years ago when I first started touring.”

“You toured in developing countries?”

Kim Lin laughed. “At first, those were the only places capable of talking about spiritual matters without sneering.” Ohloo blocked disbelief on her own face before it blossomed into a sneer. But Kim Lin wasn’t fooled and sniffed.

Ohloo said, “Point taken.” She sighed and said, “I need to get going. I’ll check back with you in a few hours.”

“Will you be going home?”

Ohloo laughed outright. “This is my home, Lily."

“You sleep here?”

She glanced out the window at the slashing sleet, lowering her voice, “More often than I’d like.”

“You have a husband? Boyfriend?”

“I’ve had both and currently have neither.” She turned back, “You?”

“My husband left me when I got the first breast cancer diagnosis.”

“Asshole,” Ohloo blurted before she could clamp her mouth shut. “Sorry. I’m sure he was a good man.”

“He was at one time. He supported my work. Traveled with me all the time. But as more people recognized me, the more he felt like part of my luggage.” She touched her chest. “This was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

“You know that that’s an urban myth, right? Breast cancer patients are not more susceptible to divorce.”

Kim Lin smiled faintly, “As I said, we’d drifted apart. The divorce was a legal formality.”

Ohloo stepped to the door. “I guess we make a good team, then. Hopelessly devoted to our work.”

“I used to love Olivia Newton John in Grease.”

“There you go. We were destined to be in the same place at the same time.”

Kim Lin nodded slowly then said, “I’m tired.”

Ohloo nodded, “And I have work to do. We’ll talk later.”

Resource: http://www.breastcancer.org/tips/intimacy/partner
Image: http://medgadget.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/Fantastic-Voyage-200x290.jpg

The Reconstruction Era – Part 1

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…

It appears that the next event is breast reconstruction!

It’s been two years now since the double mastectomy and shortly, it will be two years since chemotherapy began. My wife now has an appointment to begin the next phase: breast reconstruction.

As is my wont, I am going to ONLY cover the medical side of reconstruction. I WILL tell you that the ultimate choice is your own. We discussed for nearly a year the different types of reconstruction, we researched, my wife talked to dozens of people both online and face-to-face. We consulted half a dozen doctors, changed clinics and changed clinics then went back to the second clinic again. Breast reconstruction is not a decision to be made lightly nor is it to be made quickly. There are ramifications, risks, and considerations; soul-searching and God-seeking. All of these should be part of the decision to yes or no as well as the decision of which or what.

So…I am not endorsing or advising any of the methods I will write on here. I will translate the doctors – as I’ve tried to do all along. This week: Implant-based reconstruction, step one.

First, a clear definition: “Breast reconstruction is a surgical procedure that restores shape to your breast after mastectomy (surgery that removes [one or both] breast[s] to treat or prevent breast cancer).”

The first step after the mastectomy – which may also happen during the mastectomy itself or years later – is that the surgeon lays down a device called a tissue expander.

http://www.allergan.com/assets/images/US/products/tissue_expanders.jpg

The expander is basically a balloon that the clinic will fill with salt water a little bit at a time. The surgeon puts it under BOTH the skin and the muscle and leaves it there. After the surgery to put it in, the person visits the doctor for an appointment where some salt water is injected into it and then left there. It stretches the skin and muscle a little bit. Then the person waits while until the next appointment. Obviously, there will be feelings of the skin being stretched; I IMAGINE that the feeling would be similar to what happens when you get a sting of some sort and your knuckle swells a bit.

In my wife’s case, the surgeon will add something fairly new to support the expander – a “donated human skin scaffold” which will go along the bottom side of the expander.

“Lab-made skin and soft tissue substitutes (in this case) is made from donated skin but it has all the living cells taken out. What’s left is collagen – the same stuff that makes up tendons, ligaments, cartilage, bone, and intervertebral discs (as in “I slipped a disc!”)…Tissue-engineered skin...can be used as either temporary or permanent wound coverings. Other situations in which bio-engineered skin products might substitute for living skin grafts include certain post-surgical states such as breast reconstruction…”

“AlloDerm is a soft-tissue implant fabricated by a proprietary method...”

The surgery to place the expanders and the AlloDerm will take two to four hours and includes new drains to reduce uncontrolled swelling.

In the interest of keeping the posts readably short, I’m going to stop for now and continue next week!

Resources: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/breast-reconstruction/MY00207,
https://securews.bsneny.com/web/content/dam/BSNENY/Provider/Protocols/B/prov_prot_701113.pdf, http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/879007-overview
Image: http://www.conlab.org/acl/images/secondbank/1942_reconstruction.jpg

BREAST CANCER RESEARCH RIGHT NOW! 9: Chances of SURVIVING Breast Cancer Are Better Than Ever!

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…

Every month, I’ll be highlighting breast cancer research that is going on RIGHT NOW! Harvested from different websites, journals and podcasts, I’ll translate them into understandable English and share them with you. Today: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/03/130327132535.htm

I thought I’d share some GOOD news for once!

“...breast cancer has made tremendous strides as well, with five-year survival rising from 75 percent in 1975 to almost 89 percent in 2012...women with breast cancer account for 22 percent of survivors [of all types of cancer]...”

I’m not sure that there’s much more to say!

While men still don’t TALK about Breast Cancer – and I get almost NO replies to the blog here; and I’ve NEVER had a reply from a male – people are reading my blog in slowly increasing numbers and my hope is that there are a few men who stumble across the blog and get a measure of help or hope. (If any of you EVER wanted to write to me – DO!)

“The report, published in the AACR's journal Cancer Epidemiology, Biomarkers & Prevention, shows that as of January 2012, there were approximately 13.7 million cancer survivors in the United States, a number that is expected to rise by 31 percent to 18 million by 2022.”

Just out of curiosity, I found a list of currently identified cancers in the US:

Most Common: bladder, breast, colorectal, endometrial, kidney, leukemia, lung, melanoma, non-Hodgkin lymphoma, pancreatic, prostate, thyroid. (These made up 1,323,000 people.)

Less Common: adrenocortical, Kaposi sarcoma, anal, appendix, astrocytoma, atypical teratoid/rhaboid, basal cell, bile duct, bone, brain stem, brain, cardio, cervical, craniopharyngeal, esophageal, esthesioneuroblastoma, Ewing’s, eye, gallbladder, gastrointestinal, germ cell (testicular, ovarian, etc), gestational trophoblastic, head and neck, heart, liver, Hodgkin, hypopharyngeal, intraocular, laryngeal, mouth, myeloma, nasopharyngeal, neuroblastoma, oral, papillomatosis, penile, pituitary, plasma cell neoplasm, salivary gland, skin, small intestine, soft tissue sarcoma, throat, urethral, and uterine. Many of these have subdivisions of types, several have pediatric forms that differ from the adult form. (Based on the above figures, these make up 12.4 million cases of cancer and cancer survivors.)

With a US population of 313,914,000 and 13,700,000 million cancer survivors, that means that 1 person out of every 23 have experienced the horror of a cancer diagnosis, some sort of treatment AND HAVE LIVED TO CELEBRATE THEIR SURVIVAL!

Resources: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/alphalist/y
Image: http://media.miamiherald.com/smedia/2010/10/05/00/8177892.standalone.prod_affiliate.56.JPG