From the first moment my wife discovered she
had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones
whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a
gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble
about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this
blog…That was four years ago – as time passed, people searching for answers
stumbled across my blog and checked out what I had to say. The following entry
appeared in February of 2013…
My wife had a
checkup this week. No one seemed to be looking for tumors, no one suggested CAT
or PET or bone scans, no one felt for lumps...they took some blood and told her
they’d get back to her...
She got the call
and the doctor said that she was vitamin D deficient and they were prescribing
some MEGA vitamin D pills. NOT to combat bone loss, not against depression, not
for any of the reasons that seemed to ME to be logical. The vitamin D pills
were for MUSCLE PAIN.
We went out to
do a bit of shopping and picked up the prescription and when we got home, she
took the pill (with a few slices of a medium, traditional crust, mushroom and
black olive (plus “go light with the pepperoni”)), and extra cheese pizza).
After watching MASH and the first half of CHESS, she stood up, walked into the
dining room and said, “Could a pill work after taking it two hours ago –
because my legs don’t hurt anymore.”
I blinked in
surprise and said, “I...well...I don’t THINK so.”
Since that day,
her body pain is gone. She started taking capsaicin several weeks ago and that
helped with pain as well.
This got us started
on a nighttime conversation. By the time we were ready for bed, she said, “No
one seems to be worried about me getting cancer again.”
“I know. It’s
weird,” said I.
“What if...” she
paused. Then she continued in a softer voice, “What if it’s gone? What if I
don’t have to worry about a recurrence anymore? No one else seems worried. So,
maybe I don’t have to worry.”
I didn’t know
what to say. Her cancer doctor had prescribed the most aggressive regimen he
knew. She had a double mastectomy. What more could she have done? Maybe the
horror was over. Maybe FOREVER.
What if?
The concept is
STUNNING and I’m pretty sure I’m not done thinking about it…or writing about
it!
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