From the first moment my wife discovered
she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even
ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have
received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than
mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started
this blog…That was four years ago – as time passed, people searching for
answers stumbled across my blog and checked out what I had to say. The
following entry appeared in February of 2016.
Earlier this week
my wife, who is also a cancer survivor and who had a double mastectomy, told me
about a woman who had also survived breast cancer and who requested permission
to swim at a Seattle, WA pool topless. (
At first the city
turned her down, citing a pool rule. When she explained her situation – they
made an exception, but only for her. Any other woman who had survived cancer
and a double mastectomy, and who would want to swim topless in order to be
comfortable while exercising, would have to go beg for the permission of
Seattle Parks and Recreation Superintendent Christopher Williams. (Boy could I
say something about THAT…) I am quite sure that my wife would be too shy to do
that and would put up with the pain that accompanies wearing virtually ANY
clothing over healed mastectomy incisions!
I find it ironic
and irritating that in a society that openly promotes, celebrates, encourages
and markets the ritualized exposing of women’s breasts (just not the nipple –
but any other part of the gland is completely and enthusiastically endorse by
the judicial system of the land (which, I could point out, is heavily male…))
would hassle this cancer survivor in ANY way!
Maybe this is just
part of the Post-Cancer Crash, but maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s righteous
indignation that our society is set up for the “well” and while happy to make “exceptions”
(for veterans, women, people with physical and mental handicaps, and small
children), would just as soon carry on business as usual, excluding those who
do not meet the requirements of the Real Competitors and who may have suffered
in any way that would leave them (in the opinion of the Real Competitors) weak
and unworthy and who have been FORCED to make concessions…
Ugh.
This whole incident
leaves me feeling violated and disgusted – because, if you must know the truth,
I am one of the Real Competitors and have been all my life. (Well, maybe not a
REAL Real Competitors, I am, after all, only a teacher and not in Business
(omar, sharif. omar, sharif.)) This past year has continually opened my eyes,
challenge my preconceptions and prejudices, and forced me to reconstruct basic
assumptions I’ve made all my life.
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