From the first moment my wife discovered
she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even
ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have
received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than
mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started
this blog…
I was going to
write about what I’ve been thinking about my wife being cancer-free for the
past five years and to prep for it, I Googled the subject. The I wrote the
title of this post and I paused…thinking.
While she hasn’t
had overt symptoms, I realized that ever since the diagnosis there have been
symptoms of many, many kinds.
Lymphedema (which
I’ve written about quite a bit) is a symptom; lack of energy; thin hair;
self-consciousness; pain from implants and the surgery; pain under the arm
where the lymph nodes were extracted; fear of injuring the lymphedema arm –
even so much as mosquito bites!; “fast” tiredness…and I can’t think of any
others off the top of my head.
So, with all of
these, is she cured?
Even with regards
to the cancer itself, there’s no clear definitive answer: “Remission can be
partial or complete. In a complete remission, all signs and symptoms of cancer
have disappeared. If you remain in complete remission for 5 years or more, some
doctors may say that you are cured. Still, some cancer cells can remain in your
body for many years after treatment. Nov 24, 2014”
Of course, there’s
good news, too: “Although as a whole, any kind of cancer can come back,
Pilewskie says your chances of it returning can vary depending on the type of
cancer you've had. ‘The more aggressive cancers may recur faster.’ With more
aggressive forms of breast cancer, if it doesn't recur within the first two
years, most likely you can be considered ‘cured’…Although many breast cancer
survivors worry about their cancer coming back ‘sometimes I think that women
overestimate their risk’, Pilewskie says. She encourages anyone who's completed
breast cancer treatment to have ‘a good conversation with their doctor about their
actual risk of recurrence.’”
That sounds great,
and then she goes on to talk about the increasingly clear connection between
breast cancer survival and exercise – though I’ve also dealt with that several
times, too.
But what about the
less-tangible things? How are they NOT symptoms of breast cancer? What about
thin hair and self-consciousness? The residual pain of major surgery? The sense
of loss from breast removal? The fear of getting even a few MOSQUITO BITES (which
I’ve also written on before and it one of my most “pinged” posts) (What if you
get stung by a wasp?)? How about, strangely enough, the discomfort of being a
breast cancer survivor – they NEVER talk about that, yet for the first few
years after my wife’s surgery and chemotherapy, she had no desire to “be
celebrated” in the Relay For Life? What about the physical scars? In a weird
twist of Human psychology, what about the anger that comes from everyone
FORGETTING that you had breast cancer?
The articles I
read blithely discuss the symptoms of breast cancer in terms of simple cell
growth and cell non-growth, but the more I think about it and the more I read
about it, the more I realize that while breast cancer in its cellular form
might be in remission or even cured, the other symptoms will remain forever;
and that means that a breast cancer survivor can NEVER be cured.
Sobering thoughts,
to be sure…
Resource: http://health.usnews.com/wellness/articles/2017-03-28/can-my-breast-cancer-come-back,
https://www.cancer.org/research/cancer-facts-statistics.html
Image: http://wrex.images.worldnow.com/images/23784252_SA.jpg
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