“NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP..."

The blog address came from an earlier title I tried for this blog. Didn’t work. The new title is a better reflection of me – and if you’re here, I hope it’s a reflection of you…http://breastcancerreaper.blogspot.com/search/label/Introductions

I’m struggling with a subject today because it seems the passion has leaked away.

When first we joined battle, we were all about “beating breast cancer”. That fire seems to have gone out. It’s not that we don’t want the cancer beast to die; it’s not that we don’t moment-by-moment pray that it will be DONE, it’s just that it’s not as intense as it first was.

While I watch her get the chemicals dripped or pumped into her, it seems like the fight goes OUT. I know I talked about this earlier, but as chemo has worn on, the effects accumulate rather than diminish. In my head, it seems like she should be bouncing back FASTER as the cancer cells die and the regular cells take over again.

Not the case. It’s not like no one told us this would happen. Plenty of people said that the effects were cumulative.

I don’t remember anyone saying that the whole thing would gray over in the constant dimness of repetition. People aren’t calling to cheer us on. Blog entries aren’t designed to bring people to their feet, cheering. What was once a World War I attitude has fallen into a Vietnam attitude or a Civil War attitude.

How do I fight against that? How do I remain the powerful second-in-command?

My wife and I watched THE KING’S SPEECH the night after her chemo appointment. In it, King George VI was surrounded by people whose job it was to support him, but at just the wrong moment, Prime Minister Baldwin resigned in 1937 not long after King Edward VIII abdicated but before Hitler invaded Poland. Neville Chamberlain took over though after three years acceded to Winston Churchill in 1940. Churchill truly carried England through World War II and became a world hero as well.

How does this apply to me? My wife is Queen. I am Prime Minister. I can quit as Baldwin did when the going got tough. I can be a weenie like Chamberlain. Or I can become a Churchill and not only stand beside my Queen, but do so with dignity and honor. No one remembers the words of Baldwin or Chamberlain (who is remembered as saying, “I believe it is peace for our time . . . peace with honour” even as Germany sought to crush Europe into its Aryan mold.

Churchill’s words had the power to stir the hearts of humanity. His words found a place in history: “But for everyone, surely, what we have gone through in this period -- I am addressing myself to the School -- surely from this period of ten months, this is the lesson: Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

I choose now to become a Churchill to my wife’s Queen.

Image: http://faculty.virginia.edu/setear/courses/howweget/photos/church.jpg