From the first moment my wife discovered
she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even
ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have
received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than
mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started
this blog…That was four years ago – as time passed, people searching for
answers stumbled across my blog and checked out what I had to say. The
following entry appeared in June of 2011.
Between
treatments, which she undergoes every three weeks, life returns to normal.
Well, not “old normal”, rather the new normal (see “The World Didn’t Fall Off
Its Axis”)…
But during this
time, nothing seems to be “different” – we still chat, watch TV, go for walks
with the dog, pay bills, see the grandchild, talk to people. Nothing seems to
have changed. It’s almost like that magician – David Copperfield – worked his
magic on breast cancer and made the whole thing disappear.
And maybe there’s
something to be said for that – we’re NOT pretending. I don’t think I could
ever do that. But we’re living in the promises of the doctors and the profound
hopes of our friends and other women we know who are breast cancer survivors.
David Copperfield
isn’t really a magician, he’s an illusionist, and while we harbor no mistaken
belief that the cancer has “disappeared”, it’s sometimes helpful to live in the
illusion that the cure is NOW. It’s something that allows us to go on
day-by-day. I cannot imagine how terrifying these days just before a chemo
session are. But I can help my wife entertain the illusion that she is done
with chemo and she has been declared cancer-free.
Besides – that’s
only going to be an illusion for a few more months. By Christmas, Liz will be a
breast cancer survivor and THAT will be the real magic!
No comments:
Post a Comment