ENCORE #181! – Godzilla vs Breast Cancer

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer in March of 2011, there was a deafening silence from the men I knew. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…That was four years ago – as time passed, people searching for answers stumbled across my blog and checked out what I had to say. The following entry first appeared in August 2012…

Next Thursday, I’ll be going with my wife to the One Year Appointment. At the end of August, 2011, her chemo was done. Since then, it’s been a regimen of daily pills, bouts of lymphedema and struggles with balancing medications (cholesterol, synthroid, pseudephedrine, and so on).

HOWEVER, it’s also been a year filled with all kinds of joy: haircuts, camping and travelling (which stopped last summer), party times with friends without exhaustion setting in, play time with the grandkids and walks in the park, 25th Wedding Anniversary date to a dinner theater, parting with our daughter, three times to fireworks, and plans for our foster daughter to go to New Zealand. A rich life, to be sure.

NOT that life before cancer wasn’t rich before, but now there’s a new appreciation of life. I don’t take traveling for granted any more. I certainly don’t take CAMPING for granted anymore: the roughness of the terrain, distance to the bathrooms and the bugs and darkness are tough enough for an able-bodied old man like me. They would have been very, very difficult for someone in the throes of chemotherapy! The fact that we could celebrate 25 years together after a hellish year following the initial diagnosis is spectacular!

The worry is much less as well – last summer, every time I went to work, I worried. It made for a pretty bleak time in some ways. I tried to keep my Scandinavian stoicism well-oiled and practiced, but I’m sure the anger, fear and bitterness leaked through (ask my students to see if I managed).

Not this summer! We’re even planning on going to the Great Minnesota Get-Together (for those of you reading this who are not from Minnesota, it’s also known as the Minnesota State Fair) after the One Year appointment to walk about and eat ourselves silly – and probably watch the fireworks show just before we go home (making it four fireworks displays we’ll have seen!)

Life is sweet – but let me add a caveat: life is NOT “the same” as it was before the breast cancer diagnosis of March 2011. Every moment, every event, every laugh, every fireworks explosion is a cause for celebration. Every hug from our grandkids, every tear-inducing laugh during cards, every walk to the park to throw the dog’s rope, every plan we make for the new cabinets and every trip to Target is cause for sighing in wonder at the things that make for life.

I am a blessed man; even with that, I extend my deepest sympathies to those who have lost their mate, their love, their mother, sister, colleague or partner to this scourge. We WILL defeat it! (AND, I have to find a T-shirt that has Godzilla stomping out breast cancer!)

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