GUY’S GOTTA TALK ABOUT #23…“F***” Cancer

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…

I have never counted myself among the billions on Earth whom I consider “casual cussers”.

I work in a large, semi-urban public high school and teenagers – primarily because they believe that cursing/vulgarities/taking-God’s-name-in-vain all make them look adult; which they believe because adults use the words and typically children don’t (you don’t see a competition on TV for little kids cussing, do you?).

My definition of “casual cussers” are those who use “the ‘f’ word every other word”, like Eddie Murphy does in "Beverly Hills Cop". Like lots of my teenagers do. (Not all of them! I’m not saying that.) What I am saying is that we live in a culture where most cuss words have lost their shock value and consistently and without pause, hang in the air of most of the places we live, work, and go to school.

I grew up with “casual cussers” so, because I was a rebellious teen who wasn’t particularly brave, I made it my mission in life to NOT be a “casual cusser”.

Of course, I know the words! I can even say them. But I use them in public ONLY on extremely rare occasions. Even privately, it takes a lot of pain or grief or anger to make me cuss. I use “casual cussing” in my writing because that’s the way people talk and if I had the teen characters of my new novel start off saying, “Hey, smart butt!” I would have lost credibility, realism (and probably the sale), all in one fell swoop.

All right, now for my point: after we found out that my wife’s best friend of 42 years discovered that she has breast cancer, I am considering buying this shirt and wearing it to the upcoming RELAY FOR LIFE I will be walking in this spring:

http://i3.cpcache.com/product/199885531/fuck_cancer_tshirt.jpg?height=300&width=300

There are other, less offensive shirts that get the exact same message across, but why bother? I think that wearing this would express my clear and present feelings – and I should add, that my feelings are most definitely NOT casual.

Image [top]: http://wrex.images.worldnow.com/images/23784252_SA.jpg

ENCORE # 33! – A Friend Scare, The Minnesota State Fair, The One Year Visit and People Not As On-Top-Of-Things As They Might Be…

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…That was four years ago – as time passed, people searching for answers stumbled across my blog and checked out what I had to say. The following entry appeared in September of 2012.

A good friend of mine, a colleague at work, had a scare four days ago. In for a regular checkup and knowing she’s been cancer free for a bit over two years, she posted on FB that she was going back in for some more tests and a biopsy. The post read, “hoping for the word ‘benign’ tomorrow (had my mammogram today)...and biopsies are not pleasant (my 4th). I knew what was about to happen, when they brought me to the ‘fun room’ after taking 2 additional pics”

Praise God, she DID hear the words benign the next day. I hugged her so hard, she had to say, “Watch out for the boob!”

Apologizing profusely, I replied, “I just couldn’t help it! Sorry! I’m so...so...thrilled for you!”

What I meant, paradoxically, was, “I am so relieved for ME.”

Once again, this brought back to mind the fact that there is such a thing as aggressive cancer. That successful treatments do NOT always beat the monster to death, and we STILL need a cure. That’s what I’ll be riding for next year. That’s what I pray for every time I lift my eyes and heart up to the Lord.

The next event that day was OUR visit to the oncologist. I went with, but didn’t go in with my wife. Not for any more profound reason than that I didn’t want to get in the way. She came out after an hour or so smiling peacefully. “The doctor said there’s virtually no scar tissue. He asked me if I remembered the chemo.” My wife’s smile turned from peaceful to ironic with a few muscle movements as she said, “Oh, yes. I do. Every moment of it.” How can the Human face be so expressive, going from peace to irony with tiny twitches of electrical impulse? I don’t know, but it happens. She added a moment later, “He said he’d have been surprised if anything came back. The treatment was one of the most aggressive he’s ever done.”

*sigh*

We can be a peace for a bit more, now. Yet I’ll never forget the terror of last year; nor the spectre of possibilities in the future. I’ll deal. I can’t get used to it, but I’ll deal. “Faith. Hope. Love. These three; but the greatest of these is love.” (I Corinthians 13:13) That one I can do best after 25 years of marriage – that one has not dimmed, rather it’s grown stronger. That I can do...

I was at the Minnesota State Fair right after the appointment. In the Health Building, I wandered past the Caringbridge stand and stopped to tell them how grateful I am for their ministry/work/whatever. They asked if I wanted to have my picture taken and (of course!) I said, “Sure.” They said that if I tag it and get other people to tag me, a company that makes cards will donate a dollar for each tag, up to $2000! So, if you follow this link, you can tag me (I think…I don’t entirely get this FB tagging thing…) https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=10152099135520241&set=a.10152094718910241.903860.86180025240&type=1&theater

As to people not doing exactly what they’re supposed to do? My wife was supposed to have a compression sleeve, had gotten the measurements taken and was assured the sleeve and hand would arrive soon by the Nurse Practitioner. Three weeks later, she had tried calling person; tried emailing the person – and was told the NP had no recollection of have done the measurements and couldn’t remember my wife. Grrrr….and what was she supposed to do about THAT? Lymphedema is serious business! How could someone “oops, I forgot” and then lie about it? I’m reasonably certain my wife wouldn’t LIE about someone measuring her arm!

A second NP did the work as well as noting that she had some lymphedema around the upper abdomen as well and gave my wife a compression bra as well! OK – now things are moving.

The lesson here?

YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST ADVOCATE! Stay on top of everything and question everything – you don’t have to be mean about it, but this is serious stuff here! You can ask questions politely, just like your parents (and kindergarten teacher and middle school teacher and high school teacher…) taught you to do. But ASK!

Image: https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5527/10893068965_1d328e8f71_b.jpg

BREAST CANCER RESEARCH RIGHT NOW! #43 : SHARKS DON’T GET CANCER!!! *Lie*

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…

Every month, I’ll be highlighting breast cancer research that is going on RIGHT NOW! Harvested from different websites, journals and podcasts, I’ll translate them into understandable English and share them with you. Today: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/sharks-do-get-cancer-tumor-found-great-white/, http://qz.com/523764/these-two-cancer-resisting-animals-offer-hope-for-a-human-cure/

Cancer.

I hate that word.

Why can’t we just get the secret of sharks, because as everyone knows, sharks don’t get cancer!

Unfortunately, that’s a lie...following the link above will give you a look at a truly gross picture that proves, once and for all that sharks DO get cancer! So stop spreading the fable!

On the other hand, ARE there living things that don’t experience the uncontrolled growth of cells?

As far as we can tell, yes. They are NOT as horrifyingly threatening as the creature that bears razor-sharp teeth and was immortalized by a musical bar containing “a simple alternating pattern of two notes—variously identified as E and F or F and F sharp”. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaws_(soundtrack))

According to the second article, while elephants DO get cancer, the rate is remarkably less that Humans: “only 5% of elephants die of cancer in comparison to more than 20% humans”, this despite the fact that there are more cells in an elephant to GET cancer with!

The other animal that doesn’t get cancer is the…(pause for effect) naked mole rat.

Ewwww…

However, “as far as we know, [these animals] never develop cancer. Even if researchers try to induce cancer through artificial means.” The reason appears to be that there’s a substance called hyaluronan between rat cells. It’s a polymer, a long string of natural sugars that both makes the cells stronger as well as prevents the wild overgrowing of cells that we call cancer.

The thing is, is that Humans DO have hyaluronan, but it’s used for different things like balancing the exchange of water and plasma in the bloodstream, it may be a factor in cell division (aka mitosis), and cell movement. It also seems to play a role in deciding what kind of cell will grow from a basic type – muscle, nerve, liver, etc. It’s recognized as having the ability to protect cells and as such, it is used in eye surgery. Even so, it ALSO appears that conversely to what it does in the naked mole rat, hyaluronan that accumulates in between cells can cause them to malfunction.

Complex reactions that we don’t quite understand yet – but…but…but… “Rochelle Buffenstein, a physiologist at the University of Texas Health Science Center [said], ‘As we learn more about these cancer-resistant mechanisms that are effective and can be directly pertinent to humans, we may find new cancer prevention strategies.’”

Resources: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1563592

Image: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/40/Naked_mole_rat.jpg

ENCORE #32! – “My ______ had breast cancer and...”

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…That was four years ago – as time passed, people searching for answers stumbled across my blog and checked out what I had to say. The following entry appeared in August of 2012.

The world of breast cancer continues to grow smaller and smaller.

At a wedding we attended a few weeks ago held on Spirit Mountain in Duluth, a former student of mine wh0 has become a friend came up to us as we were leaving for the three hour drive home. He and I embraced as I got teary eyed again, then he embraced my wife and whispered in her ear. Then he got back to the groom business of greeting everyone else.

As we walked to the car, my wife said, “He whispered, ‘Keep on fighting’.”

A few days later, my wife asked me to ask him what he meant.

His reply: “My grandmother fought it for 15 years, in the end it was too much, but she never stopped fighting!!! Those 15 years, though hard fought, allowed her so many joys! [My new wife] also wishs to express her regards. All things are possible!”

Different story, shrinking world: two nights ago, we went to a dinner theater in celebration of 25 years of marriage. My wife booked us a “pot luck” table – which means that there were six seats forming one table, so that we would be sitting with four others we’d never met before.

Ours were the center seats, across from each other. Shortly the others arrived and there were introductions all around and we began to chit chat pleasantly. Dinner ended, the show began then paused for a 20 minute Dessert Intermission. Chatting some more, the woman next to my wife asked about the layered athletic bandages on her arm. My wife explained they were for lymphedema treatment due to breast cancer.

The woman began an animated monologue explaining that she was a massage therapist and frequently worked with breast cancer survivors experiencing lymphedema.

The disease is everywhere. It seems that “everyone knows someone” who is being treated for or who has survived breast cancer. It makes for a small community; it makes for sympathy and strength all around.

It’s a GOOD thing that has happened despite the horror that brought it about, and so I rejoice that my wife continues to be a survivor with a powerful word!

Image: https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5527/10893068965_1d328e8f71_b.jpg

GUY’S GOTTA TALK ABOUT #22: Invisible, Internal, Injuries…

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…

Most of the men I know understand the sheer frustration of the “intermittent noise” from when they were young, studly, and did all of their own car work – not because they were interested in being amateur auto mechanics, but because there was no other choice. Someone from a garage working on your car was pretty much out of the question. It was do-it-yourself or stop driving.

Somewhere during the amateur auto mechanic era, you ran across the ultimate irritation: the thing that only happens sometimes. The engine only overheats…sometimes. The brakes seem to grind like two sandstone bricks. The oil light flickers when slow down to a certain speed. The engine smokes a little when you turn the steering wheel hard…

They would drive you not only crazy, but to distraction. Driving down the highway, intentionally as close to the barrier wall as you can, window rolled down so you can listen for “that weird noise”…as you drift out of the lane and on to the shoulder!

I thought those days were over until a couple weekends ago.

My wife and I were watching TV and the remote slid to the floor. We’d get it later. Then our daughter called, my wife reached to get the remote to pause the DVD; chest against the arm of the couch...and gasped, sitting up, answering the phone, and chatting with our daughter. When she hung up, she gasped, “It feels like a knife between my ribs!”

She laid back for a while, but we eventually headed to the ER of our local hospital, waiting until someone could come and tell us…pretty much nothing. “Might have torn some muscle tissue beneath the implant.” Pause. “But we can’t see anything with an X-ray, so we’ll give you some pain relievers and call it a night. See your regular doctor if you have more pain.”

OK. Helpful, but not overly helpful.

My wife had commented then and over the next few days that it seemed like something under the implant was “hitching”. I watched the following video, in particular for us: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KcXt3dJI_w

While there’s nothing to “hitch” on the muscle, it certainly seems possible that some of the stitching might have torn. I know that the actual stitches are long healed; but despite scar formation, it would seem to me that the edges would be weaker than the original, uncut tissue. I’m not a surgeon, but it seems POSSIBLE.

I DID find some comments on muscle tearing, pain, and bruising under the implant last night, but I lost them when my “history” cleared overnight. I seem to recall that using a CT and/or ultrasound might be able to detect problems, but I can’t find the reference. I’ll keep looking and get back to you. For now, the pain seems to be lessening – but she still feels the “hitch”. She’ll be checking with her oncologist in March, so maybe we can find out something then…

Image: http://wrex.images.worldnow.com/images/23784252_SA.jpg

ENCORE #31! – The Post-Cancer Crash

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…That was four years ago – as time passed, people searching for answers stumbled across my blog and checked out what I had to say. The following entry appeared in June 2012…

Right after the literal and economic “boom” of WWI, came the Roaring Twenties. Life was good, coming together as Americans during The War Against The Kaiser had been followed by the heady rush of becoming a World Power, and it looked like the future was going to be bright, indeed.

Right after WWII came the Fabulous Fifties when America could do no wrong and we invented everything from hula hoops to the H-bomb and Elvis Presley.

The Great Depression came crashing down on the heels of the Roaring Twenties and the Fabulous Fifties were followed by the riots and assassinations of the Tumultuous Sixties.

For me, the bravery, positive outlook, and grand support of the Diagnosis, Surgery and Treatment year has come crashing down around my ears as the Post-Cancer Crash. Chemo is done, regular “How’s your wife doing this week?”s have dwindled to the occasional, off-hand query usually briefly answered.

My pink shoelaces are tattered and my wristband is dirty and faded. I am, quite frankly, left feeling depressed. No one’s fault but my own as there appears to be no more battle to fight. There’s no more heart-stopping terror to overcome. And really? My wife is alive and hasn’t felt better in YEARS!

So what’s up with me? I should be dancing on streets of gold, lolling about in Paradise, praising God from the rooftops, the skyscraper tops. Instead, I’m feeling quietly contemplative and a bit sad.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-9 talks about the fact that there are times in a person’s life that are given over to various things. Perhaps the past year was “a time to kill (cancer)...weep...be silent...war (on cancer)...hate (cancer)”.

In the same way – and in a NOT BAD way, perhaps now is “a time to heal...build up…a time for peace.” Perhaps now is the time to start growing again as well.

Perhaps now is a time to come back to life again. Perhaps now is “a time to throw away” the bitterness, anger and fear I’ve lived with for the past 18 months.

Take a deep breath. Hold it. Now release. Repeat.

There’s a faint smile on my face right now, so this must be the right thing to do...

Image: https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5527/10893068965_1d328e8f71_b.jpg

BREAST CANCER RESEARCH RIGHT NOW! #42: Checkpoint Inhibitors – Using the Cancer Victim’s Body To Fight Back

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…

Every month, I’ll be highlighting breast cancer research that is going on RIGHT NOW! Harvested from different websites, journals and podcasts, I’ll translate them into understandable English and share them with you. Today: See the links below!

Doctors have known about checkpoint inhibitors for years, but when dealing with cancer and the action and reaction of the body at the CELL level, it takes time and effort to understand what is happening.

For starters, we all know that cancer cells are ones that have started to grow uncontrollably, creating a tumor. There are over a hundred different cancers that affect the human body. Many of these can cause breast cancer. Even within the types that cause breast cancer, there are other, even more specific types – it’s like saying that you have DOGS. Within that kind of mammal, there are many kinds of dogs. If you choose one type, say Retrievers, you have black labs, chocolate labs, and golden labs t0 name a few. Breast cancer is like that.

What every cancer cell of any type has in common with every other type, is the ability to fool the body into thinking that it’s “just a normal cell”. When it does that, the normal body response of sending T-cells to wipe out invaders is fooled. These T-cells are strong. Very strong. If they get out of control, it can cause horrific damage through a type of reaction called an “auto-immune disease”. The best known of these is rheumatoid arthritis in which the body attacks itself. So T-cells have very tough “leashes” to keep them under control.

A T-cell arrives to attack an internal invader, but the skin of the cancer cell says, “Nobody here but us fat cells! False alarm! Go away! We’re cool!” The cancer has fooled the T-cell and gets off scot-free, continuing to grow out of control.

"Immune checkpoints are molecules in the immune system that either turn up a signal (co-stimulatory molecules) or turn down a signal. Many cancers protect themselves from the immune system by inhibiting the T cell signal.”

What’s that mean? Just that these “immune checkpoint molecules” are signals that tell the rest of the T-cells what to do and where to do it. Cancer blocks or muffles the signal so that the body doesn’t respond as strongly as it should, so the cancer keeps growing.

So what City of Hope is saying is that one of the future therapies may be to

“blockade [the] immune checkpoints” of cancer cells. Your body has many ways to stop the T-cells from getting out of control – checkpoints. You might imagine them as similar to the old “Checkpoint Charlie”, the famous gate from the Cold War through which people from East Berlin and West Berlin could pass from one city to another.

“Immune checkpoints refer to a plethora of inhibitory pathways hardwired into the immune system that are crucial for maintaining self-tolerance and modulating the duration and amplitude of physiological immune responses in peripheral tissues in order to minimize collateral tissue damage.” In plain English? These checkpoints keep your body from attacking itself as well as make NECESSARY immune responses strong and clearly aimed at the invading cells.

 “It is now clear that tumours co-opt certain immune-checkpoint pathways as a major mechanism of immune resistance”, in other words, cancer cells take over those checkpoints and tell the T-cells that they’re OK. The body stops attacking and the tumor grows out of control until it’s removed surgically, with radiation, or with chemicals.

So, there’s LOTS of research going on now to create a treatment that will boost the signal from the T-cell that encounters a cancer cell in order to tell the rest of the body that an invasion has begun. The treatment IS NOT READY, but the research is promising!

Resources: http://www.cityofhope.org/blog/breast-cancer-dramatic-advances-create-revolution-in-treatment, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22437870

Image: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/63/Blausen_0625_Lymphocyte_T_cell.png