The Reconstruction Era – Part 6

From the first moment my wife discovered she had breast cancer, there was a deafening silence from the men I know. Even ones whose wives, mothers or girlfriends had breast cancer seemed to have received a gag order from some Central Cancer Command and did little more than mumble about the experience. Not one to shut up for any known reason, I started this blog…

“It appears that the next event is breast reconstruction!”

What has amazed me is how INTERESTED people are.

As my wife has had “fills” [Define: “Tissue expansion is a relatively straightforward procedure that enables the body to ‘grow’ extra skin for use in reconstructing almost any part of the body. A silicone balloon expander is inserted under the skin near the area to be repaired and then gradually filled with salt water over time, causing the skin to stretch and grow. It is most commonly used for breast reconstruction following breast removal...”] the size of the expander has increased, creating a place for the actual implant to go once the fills are done.

Couple other things here, one of which is the new name, the other what they “look” like. First the name. My wife has wisely insisted that the surgery is creating “boobs”. These are NOT breasts. Breasts are natural organs that God or evolution designed to feed newborn infants. The “boobs” are cosmetic reconstructions designed to look like breasts and to create the appearance of breasts – and to deflect sympathy and strange looks. They allow a post-mastectomy woman to feel like the other half of the Human race. One plus of the reconstruction – my wife will NEVER HAVE TO WEAR A BRA AGAIN! The boobs are designed to stay exactly where the doctor put them.

Which segues into my second observation regarding what they LOOK like. A few intimate friends of my wife have asked to see them and have marveled at how strange they look. They are, in fact rather like the alien called Odo on the old Star Trek television Deep Space Nine. This alien’s natural form is nothing like Human, so to make everyone around “him” feel more comfortable, “he” has taken on the form of a Human male. “His” face, while recognizable Human has none of the FINE features of a Human face. Odo has eyes, nose, mouth and ears, but only in smooth, featureless outline.

The boobs my wife has are smooth, featureless outlines of real breasts. There is no nipple – though when the surgery is done, the nipples will be added. However, we were informed early on that the areola itself – the dark skin surrounding the nipple – will NOT be recreated. She has to go in…FOR TATTOOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which are not, of course, covered by insurance as in fact, no tattoos are, being as they are an art form.

“You have GOT to be kidding!” you quip.

I kid you not. I look forward to the day when my wife and daughter have to go to the nearest certified tattoo artist, walk up to the desk of the multiply-pierced and tattooed associate and say, “Excuse me, we’d like to get an estimate for how much it would cost to get areolas tattooed on my new boobs.”

Resources: http://www.plasticsurgery.org/reconstructive-procedures/tissue-expansion.html

Image: http://www.treknews.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/odo-changeling1.jpg